25th July, 2009

Saturday night, but I am in my own room, doing nothing besides packing. Haiz..I really scare of packing now. After back to Haverfordwest for few days, tomorrow I am heading to Cardiff again. I already quit my job as waitress at Yeovil. Actually everything is fine, just this restaurant that belongs to 13 branch company like to delay employees salary. I already work there for 1 month but until now I haven't get my salary.

My manager and senior ask me to stay and they used a lot of good reasons to make me stay such as I can become manager of restaurant after half year work there, I also can work in upper management. Hmm..actually I know they just say it but that will be hard to happen because I am not China people, I am Malaysian, even though we are same, Chinese. Besides, that is not my ambitiona and target as well. From the first, I apply waitress job because they will provide accommodation and food, then I can save money. I never think it to become my career, it is just my part time job. They tell me that I am just degree holder and it is hard to get job outside there except I am Master holder.

Well, I just can't believe them without have a try, right? Besides, they want me to stay, of course they will say something that advance to them. After came to UK, I really grow up even just a little. At here, I have to manage everything by myself. Like this time, I have to find job by myself and then find ways to go to a place that is totally stranger to me. Even though I scare but I told myself I have to do this. There is no other way besides rely on myself.

However, I have to say that I am lucky to know friends that help me a lot. There are always people around to help me and guide me, like Janice and chef that came from same place with her. They are nice to me, especially Janice, we just like friends that know each other for long time already. Even though mom told me I have to be careful and can't trust people so easily, but I want to trust people. They nice to me because they feel I am true and I don't want to ruin this trust between us. However, if they are not good people as I think, never mind, I learn again from this mistake. Mistake make us grow up, right?

I believe that when I sincere to people, they can feel it and sincere to me as well. No matter how, I still will have preparation for one day, someone betray me. The most important to me is I don't want to treat people bad and betray my friend anymore. Previous experience teach me a lot, from my behavior to my mind thinking. Experience teach me how to behave infront coworkers, customers, and friends. Now, even I can't say I am a lovely person that make everyone like me, but at least, my job performance is still okay and people don't hate me. I got improve, right? I have to grow up and become independant, there is no one except myself to rely on. Gambateh, Pooh Pooh^^

I Quit My First Job at UK after 1 month

23 July, 2009

Finally I am back to Haverfordwest...quite happy to be back. However, the whole journey really sucks because stupid me carry so many luggage...2 huge luggage, 1 hand carry and 1 laptop beg. Yeah..you are listen correctly..I really carry so many things and take train...Luckily, there are a lot nice people around that helped me to carry some of my luggage..hope is everywhere...haha.. bt I am sure I need to throw some things away, I will never carry so many things to Cardiff anymore, it is bloody hell scary!

Why I am back to Haverfordwest? Good question! I quit my job at Yeovil...haha..Yeap, I quit the job after I work there for 1 month and 4 days...The Real China, my previous working restaurant...quite big company but the management is just terrible...I start to work at 18 June and until now, I haven't get my salary...I already waste a lot of money when start work at there bt I din't even get my salary now...shit! Besides, the job is really tiring...every afternoon and night have to work overtime because of cleaning stuff....chinese businessman really stingy clever in using people...give a little salary and want you to work until die..damn...

It is terrible job...I love people and friends that I know from there but definitely not the job...I enjoy serving customers but not with loads of work to do...Well,now I already left that restaurant and will start my another job very soon. I hope everything will be okay, no more delay of salary and long hours of working and loads of work. Bt I wish I can meet more nice people and co-workers...I love Duang, John, Janice, Leo, Sian, and some part time workers at Yeovil.... They all lovely and nice, just some of them annoying and lazy that sometimes make me so angry and can't stand of it. Ohh..so tired..got to rest...

我的英国好朋友，洋洋

2009年7月9日，晴

一个人，暗暗地呆在房间，好想念你哦！
让我介绍我的新朋友，洋洋。可爱的名字吧？哈哈。。
她就是我来到英国第一份工作认识的好朋友，我好喜欢她噢！
她大我几岁，不过，没人会相信她大我的啦。。
还记得第一天报到。。一进房间，她就立刻起身帮我收拾东西，让个桌子给我。
我就很不好意思地说“不好意思哦，打扰了！”
结果，短短的两个星期，我们竟然打成一片，无所不谈。
不过，她离开了我们工作的餐厅。
我出国前都没有伤心和哭咧，当她走的那一天，我真的很不舍得。
抱了她有好几次了，不过，还是很不舍得。
当她真的要走时，她走下楼下，走向我，抱了一下，然后抱一抱其他同事。
那一眩间，我竟然好想哭，眼泪直绷上来，感觉真的要流下来了。
不过，在那么多人面前，还有客人，我就一直忍着。结果，整晚心情也不怎么样。
谢谢老天爷让我认识那么好的朋友（在英国）。
我真的是出门遇贵人，真的可以说我遇到很多好人，对我都很好。这是我的福气，得好好珍惜啊。。。

My degree graduation

After some times, finally I blogging again. This time is about my convocation, which at 4th July 2009. Finally, I graduate as degree holder, thanks goodness. Unfortunately, none of my family around to attend my graduation. At first, I felt nothing because my mom already attend my diploma graduation. However, when my friends that graduate have their family all around to attend, I felt a bit lonely and sad. Haha...well, of course will felt like that when see others have family around, especially when taking photo. They are busying taking photos with family while I have no one to take. Ya, they also got take some photos with me, but I still feel lonely. This is also one of the reason I took few photos this time.

寂寞

2009年7月3日，晴

一大早，我就得准备出发了。收拾一半的行李，今天又得赶了。我开了视频，鱼看到我忙来忙去的，觉得我很好笑。说真的，我也觉得自己很好笑啦。真的是左忙下，右拿这个那个，又找东西。哈哈，真的满好笑。

上了巴士，听着梁静如的歌，不知为什么感到一股的寂寞感，带点悲伤。也许我脑袋瓜里想着事情吧，每次有东西烦，我都会变得这样。觉得有点悲伤和寂寞。突然觉得害怕寂寞，不想一个人。有点想念在怡保一起玩的几个朋友。现在，无论去哪儿，感觉都得一个人。虽然，去到一个新地方，我可以认识新朋友，不过，那种空空的寂寞，让人还真有点难受。

Sir是怎样一个人到处跑的呢？有时还真的不能不佩服他，能够一个人跑到天涯海角，也不觉得寂寞可怜。我真的做不到了，我很害怕寂寞一个人的感觉。难道，我的人生注定是一个人孤单度过的吗？刚刚认识了一个那么好的同事和朋友，她又得离开，又剩下我一个。虽然其他人都很好，我也很喜欢John这个朋友，不过，他毕竟是男的。天啊，为什么你要我一个人呢？难道要我随便找个男朋友算了？哈哈。。不过，我做不到。

Janice问过我，有没有谈恋爱过。我很不好意思地说没有。她再问有没有男生追你呢？我更加不好意思地回答没有。以前都不觉得是问题的问题，突然间变成是个问题了。以前都不觉得尴尬，现在被人问问还真的令我觉得尴尬起来了。对啊，我还真的没人要的那种咧！21岁了，没男生追过，没谈恋爱过。天啊，真的是个耻辱吗（对女生来讲）？现在还真的会想，干嘛没人追过呢？哈哈。。应该很肯定是，长得不漂亮，没身材，脾气不好，没吸引力咯！可悲的徐薇善啊。。