Freezing....missing...

October 28, 2008, Die cold

Well, here I am again, blogging...
Wat can I do in this die cold day? Now it is 5 pm smtg bt outside there like 8 smtg.
Dark, mist and cold..my brain just shut off and I am shivering..
I want to do my assignment badly because the dateline is next week.
However, I am really too cold to do anything...
I am wearing gloves, long sleeves clothes plus sweater, long trousers and socks...
Bt I am still so cold..Am i dreaming now? I really hope so..
So tat I can wake up in the warmth of Malaysia..suddenly I miss M'sia warmth so much!
I am here, alone, in UK...it is like dreaming...
I never thought I can go private college to study, I never thought my dream go oversea to study can become true..everything in my mind just my dream...
But it cames true..ya..it cames true...untill I hard to believe and feel I am dreaming!
Almost everything I wish came true..what did I expect more? I dono...
"The Secret" is a book that told readers we can get what we want if we wish to get it!
It is really a good book..when you want something badly, the nature will bring it to u...
I always think I din't get anything I want..I will loss it if I wish to have..
Bt I never realise that I get almost everything I want...just I am too greedy to expect more..
I want study at college, there I go to Ipoh...
I wish to further study at oversea, here I came to UK...
Mom..she is the one that always help me to realize my dreams..she is really a wonderful mom..
I really miss her..I always wondering why she so believe I can make it and just let me make any decision of my life and let me go for it...
I still remember when I was in secondary school, I hate mom coz she dint believe me and forbid me to go out nite with friends and this and that...
I feel that she din't believe her daughter at all..don't she noe her daughter well?
Bt now, wat can I say? She want to teach me wat is good and bad..
When the time came, she will let me free to do what I want to do and believe me!
I always complain that my mom don't hv respond no matter what happen to me...
Maybe she wants me to take my own responsibility and settle by myself...
She always noe what to do! She is such a great mom! I realy love my mom!
That's why they say when you away from family, you will miss them so much!
Yup,here I am again...missing family like a child...ohh god...
You will never understand the cold if you are not at oversea...now I am totaly get it! huh....

鞋子。。。爱情。。

2008年10月28日, 阴和雨

昨天突然想跟朋友一起出去走走，虽然只是近近的town。。
本来想随便穿的，我也不懂怎么的。
我的外套洗了，所以就找啊找，配啊配，就变成这样出来了。。哈哈。。
不过，我还满喜欢的^^
很遗憾的是这双靴子穿了走长路真的很折磨人，我的脚到今天还很痛呢！
所以，女生真的需要找一双适合自己的鞋。
结果，我也找到一双很舒服的靴子，走起来不会令脚痛。。
前几天，我看了一篇文章说女生一直都在寻找适合自己的鞋子。
年轻时就找华丽漂亮的鞋，即使那双鞋子如何折磨自己的脚，我们还是会忍。。
对，我们真的可以忍。。我一穿来走时就觉得痛了，不过我忍因为那双靴子很好看。。
有时还真的很佩服我们女生的忍耐度，所以不要小看女生。。
为了美，多痛都可以忍！
尽管你多会忍，都有痛到不可忍受的时候，结果，我买了新靴子。
其实，漂亮真的很重要吗？也许吧，对女生来说！
我每次都告诉自己最重要舒服，不过到后来还是爱美而折磨自己！
不过，我是一个忍受不了痛的人。觉得痛到不可忍受时，我就会选择放弃。
回到我刚刚说的文章，它说当女生慢慢成长成熟后，反而对鞋子的要求就变了。
不再要求华丽漂亮，只要求舒服安全。
这鞋的道理用来形容爱情真的满贴切，你们觉得呢？
对啊，女生在年轻时一直追求华丽浪漫的爱情，一个也许充满了危机的爱情。。
我最近看了很多感人的戏。在当中，我学会了一个道理。。
人生当中充满了危险，我们只要活在这世界，每天都要冒险。U hv to take the risk!
爱情是人生其中一部分，也是一个我们要take risk的经验。
朋友告诉我，不管爱情是甜或苦，它也是你的经验，你一定要经历的！
我也知道。。不过，我没有那胆量take tis risk。。太大的冒险了！
也许当爱情来临时，我又是另外一个反应呢？我也不知道！
我只知道现在看到太多例子告诉我爱情是痛苦的，所以我觉得爱情很没有安全感。
我有个朋友的想法也跟我一样，真的很好笑，所以我们可以无所不谈。。
你找到你的鞋子了吗？祝你好运！

My little small baby brother..wakaka

24 October, 2008, Sunny

See the cake above? My baby brother makes it with his frends(i think). I don't know the taste and I don't want to taste too...bt it really look so nice!

Really...My small brother really have the talent in cooking.. Well, I hate to admit that, bt I am so proud with him in this..hehe^^

And his English is so good and his blog also quite interesting, I HATE to admit this...ouchhh!!! He say my blog is such a dude...hoho...

Our style not same! My blog used to express all my feeling and thinking, a diary for me...bt for him, I am not sure! SOmething like, articles??haha

I saw his blog today and unfortunately I saw he wore my piggie shoe and dance and make it a video. I scold him coz I feel heart broken with my piggie bt I felt funny too...

He is so talented in making fun of OTHERS....haha...Even though I scold him, I can't stop myself to ask my friends go to see the video clip coz it is really fun(match with the song).

Wicked person...he wrote tis in his blog..Finally,you also met wicked person. What can I say? God bless you,my dear brother!

There are a lot this kind of bitches in this world, and you cannot hide or avoid from them. They will find you and KILLING you..not everyone can become neutral.

Well,you can say become pH7,then, everything will be okay.

Come on, if your personality is pH7, then you will not wrote about wicked person anymore.

Some people are borned to become pH7, some people nurtured to become pH7.

As my family, I dono..maybe we all borned to be ASID, too obvious for everyone to be SEEN...

wish you good luck^^

For few days, I am struggling between study and wasting time around...and I lose to DEVIL..so there were I, playing game and watching movies for whole day...

Ohhh...I really need to pick up my book and get out from my stupid game and movies! Dude!!!

Shame on myself!

Mom just come back from working today and pity her, still need work at this age! I miss her so much now, miss my house, miss my Pooh Pooh(big and small), miss my pig pig, miss my shoes, miss my clothes, and everything.....haizz....lonely feeling come back again!!!!

Come back to what I am just doing...hoho...I found many pooh pooh in ebay. Gosh, I need a big pooh right now for me to hug during sleeping!

Since kid, I hugging my pillow to sleep, and now I got nothing but just my tiny little Huan Huan and Halloween Pooh(too small to hug even).

It is so hard for me to sleep comfortably....so, I am going to bid a big or middle Pooh back....wakaka...POOH, I LOVE POOOH....

Lonely

23 October, 2008, Rainy

Again, it is a raining day and I am not so appreciate today raining...
It seems I have to skip my French class if it keep on raining.
Well, be honest, today I felt so lazy to go out,no matter where...
I jz want to curl in my cozy bed with my stupid books, laptops and songs...
Duhhh...I really having a boring days lately..no trip,no activities, no handsome guys(hoho)...such a dull life!
Jz now my bro asking me my blogspot URL..haha..when he saw,omg...
Coz all in chinese,he does not know anything about chinese words...
Serve him right,nv study seriously of chinese..
However, I am so shocked when he ask my blog URL...
Well, he never bother about his this big sister..so..haha...a surprise for me...
It is not jz tat surprise for me today,there is some...haha...
Today I chat a long time with Fish,haha...both of us chat for few hours everytime...god bless..if use phone,die...when the bill came...haha...
Suddenly feel miss to stay beside my friends and family when finish chat wit her...
Now I start to understand why a frend of mine tat go US always called us...
It is the lonely feeling...lonely to stay so far from ppl u noe well...
I hate the lonely feeling, actually..I don't like tis feeling come to visit me!
Bt wat to do? It came and control whole part of me...until I become lonely,pity and pathetic girls in UK...gosh...
Maybe I don't have girl frend at here, no one can talk and chat with me jz like Fish...a girl frend...
I don need any bf bt I need friends...friends tat I noe well and they noe me too
Tat's is all I need...
It is quite hard here, everything not same...dono wat should I do and shouldn't
Everyday a lot of reading to do...so many words that I suddenly feel dono...
In the class, I am such a dumb! I scare and nervous when I want to talk..
Gosh, wat happen to me?
I scare I will make ppl feel unhappy or I talk something brainless...
Haha...god,help me here....see me?? save me from tis dull life!!!!!

落叶。。遗憾

2008年10月14日,阴

昨天特地拿了相机，想要到住家附近那里拍照。
前几天跟朋友一起去Tesco时，就看到有棵树很漂亮！整棵树的叶子都变黄了！
整棵满满黄色叶子的树真的很漂亮！从来没看过。。
之前很想到韩国看落叶的美景，现在看到了，不过在英国。
不过，看落叶的美景并没有我想象那么美。。
当时候只有一种感叹。只是那么几天而已，差不多就落完了叶子！
有点后悔当时没有好好地看多几眼。原来那眩间一旦过了，就再也回不到那一刻了。
刚刚又看回之前把跟朋友聊天内容抄下的文件，那种感触再回来了！
有时真的很不想再看回两年前在怡保的回忆，一直勾起不好的回忆。
不过，我也很喜欢跟他们开心的回忆！真的很开心！
前几天，睡觉前就听回手机里的歌。突然就播到了林俊杰的只对你说。。
我现在最不想听到这首歌了！它让我留下人生最大的遗憾和伤感。
结果，当晚就发恶梦，梦到自己被人追杀。真的好真，吓死我了！
哈哈。。就要步入冬天了！天气开始转冷，可是我每天都觉得好冷！哈哈。。
功课也一天比一天多。压力也开始慢慢逼近。。哈哈。。
冬天，我希望下雪。我真的好像看到下雪哦！

再次突来的悲伤

2008年10月6日,阴

突然间很想看回以前的照片，可惜DVD过不到，看不到。。只好上网看。。
一边看就一边回忆起很多很多在APRC的事，尤其是离开我们的美萦。
每次想起你，我就会流泪。我一直重复问自己，你有看过我的最后一封信息吗？
是我的信息导致你车祸吗？如果我有接听你的电话，也许就可以避开这场车祸。。
如果你还在，现在又会做什么呢？真的很多如果如果。。
你离开后，有人说我和婉君是害人精。。
我们两个对你的歉疚反而被人利用来攻击我们。。很好笑吧？
当sir问我是否有对任何说关于我发信息给你的事，然后告诉我哪个八婆说过什么。。
我真的不知道要说什么！
慢慢看回我们一起拍过的照片，我们曾经留下很多快乐的回忆，对吗？
看到亦善，一种悲从中来的感觉。。每次看到你，都觉得很对不起你！
觉得很遗憾！曾经很靠近过，突然就疏远，也导致你讨厌我！
虽然已经过了，应该忘了。不过，每每浮现在回忆戏剧里，都还会觉得伤心。
看到婉君，也觉得很歉意。我曾经做过很多伤害你的事。
不懂我前辈子修了什么福，不管我多恶劣，你还是当我的朋友。。
每次我说对不起，你只是说过去了。。不过，我真的很讨厌当时的我。。
我很讨厌我做过的一切。。对我的好朋友。。我说一千一万个对不起也弥补不到心中的歉意。。
突然又变得悲伤起来了，对吗？很久没看到这样的自己了。。
来到外国后，那种害怕减少了。。
不过，从来到这里到现在我每晚都发恶梦。
我真的很害怕吓醒的感觉，没有任何人在我身边。。
我觉得应该可以说在这里活得满开心的啊。。不过，就不懂为什么每晚都发恶梦。。
现在我还真的有点怕要入睡。。我害怕睡后又要发恶梦了！
每晚吓醒的感觉真的不好受