Why I felt lonely when I was surrounded by my families and friends? It is a weird feeling as I do not felt like this when I stay at England. Even though I was far away from family and friends at England, it is like adventure to me. When I came back, I am not sure what is the feeling but it is a very complicated feeling. Lost direction in life, lonely, somehow emptiness in my heart and sadness. I always looking for some kind of success in my life, I eager for different life, interesting life in my life. I have some kind of connection with interest in human behavior, but the problem is I can't even figure out what kind of my behavior and thinking are.
I met again with a person that I admire his ability and he aroused my motivation and brain. Talking to him make me think a lot, my brain move and really think, compared to the years I spent at England, I like the moment with him. Somehow, he always make me have a bigger picture about life, a higher motivation and goal to achieve. If you ask me, do you regret choosing this friend and lost so many friends? I will answer, no. I always believe in destiny, especially with my friends. A friendship is somekind of chemicals, and successful friendship is a kind of diversification. Try it yourself, and you will know. Some people said he is a person that break people future,is it? I felt uneasy when I saw this post, even though I still felt like this now, but it is their choice. They are destined to hate him, while I was destined to understand the truth. Knowing him making a huge changes in my life, in which normal life is not normal anymore..
I believe even though my life now still in the mist, but I will find my way out one day. I am not sure what type of career I will be in future, but I believe I will have my own successful career, one day.. I believe I am not just a very normal girl, that live a normal life. I can't figure out my emotional live, I can't solve my family problem, however, growth and experience in life will help me to figure it out someday.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Back to my home
15 Feb, 2010
Time flew but we just walking..gosh,how come time past so fast? Can't imagine I already back to Malaysia for 2 weeks, and now going into third week. I spent a week at Siem Reap, Cambodia, then stay few days at Ipoh. After back to my home for few days, it is Chinese New Year. After next week, I have to fly back to England again. I stay at UK for 1 and half years but just back here for 1 month. Haha...what to say? When I back here, I felt missing, not missing UK, but missing the life I had before at Malaysia.
Few days ago, when I tidy up my books, I found back my notes I made during my study at Ipoh. I just read through of them but suddenly I stopped at one page, stopped at a line of words...When you still cry when you repeat a story for many times, it means you still cannot put down your burden or forgot about it. This sentence
knock the door of my heart and memory. At the moment I arrive Malaysia, I can't denied that a lot of memory come back to me. Go to UK is a way of running away from the sadness and everything at here... and now when I back, everything come back again.
Friends, family, situation, and everything happened at the past, especially at Ipoh, left a deep impact in me. One week trip to Cambodia really a very happy trip to me (even it is very very hot and sunny). Sir, Fish and Carmen, they gave me a feel of be at home, be with your truly friends and family. All the time at UK, I don't feel any sadness, my life is just about me. How I am going to live my own way, how I can enjoy myself. I never have to worry anything about family or friends, because friends or supposely are collegues always changed according to my job. I knew many new friends but they are very temporary.
I am a person that like to run away from problem, that is why I run away to UK. Haha..I am a grown up girl but still like a little girl, do not want to face and settle problem. Holiday almost come to an end, I really will miss the time back to Malaysia. Next month when I back to UK, what am I going to do with my future? I don't have a clue actually after talk to sir. He is always a motivating person and this is always the advantage of him I saw from him. I like to be around him as he can let me feel motivation in my own life and career. Last week when I see him go back to KL, I felt sad. I know I will miss him, we have a bond, and I know we will always be friends that teach me a lot. Fish, I miss her immediately when my brother come to fetch me. Ohh gosh, I will miss them so much if I back to UK.
Time flew but we just walking..gosh,how come time past so fast? Can't imagine I already back to Malaysia for 2 weeks, and now going into third week. I spent a week at Siem Reap, Cambodia, then stay few days at Ipoh. After back to my home for few days, it is Chinese New Year. After next week, I have to fly back to England again. I stay at UK for 1 and half years but just back here for 1 month. Haha...what to say? When I back here, I felt missing, not missing UK, but missing the life I had before at Malaysia.
Few days ago, when I tidy up my books, I found back my notes I made during my study at Ipoh. I just read through of them but suddenly I stopped at one page, stopped at a line of words...When you still cry when you repeat a story for many times, it means you still cannot put down your burden or forgot about it. This sentence
knock the door of my heart and memory. At the moment I arrive Malaysia, I can't denied that a lot of memory come back to me. Go to UK is a way of running away from the sadness and everything at here... and now when I back, everything come back again.
Friends, family, situation, and everything happened at the past, especially at Ipoh, left a deep impact in me. One week trip to Cambodia really a very happy trip to me (even it is very very hot and sunny). Sir, Fish and Carmen, they gave me a feel of be at home, be with your truly friends and family. All the time at UK, I don't feel any sadness, my life is just about me. How I am going to live my own way, how I can enjoy myself. I never have to worry anything about family or friends, because friends or supposely are collegues always changed according to my job. I knew many new friends but they are very temporary.
I am a person that like to run away from problem, that is why I run away to UK. Haha..I am a grown up girl but still like a little girl, do not want to face and settle problem. Holiday almost come to an end, I really will miss the time back to Malaysia. Next month when I back to UK, what am I going to do with my future? I don't have a clue actually after talk to sir. He is always a motivating person and this is always the advantage of him I saw from him. I like to be around him as he can let me feel motivation in my own life and career. Last week when I see him go back to KL, I felt sad. I know I will miss him, we have a bond, and I know we will always be friends that teach me a lot. Fish, I miss her immediately when my brother come to fetch me. Ohh gosh, I will miss them so much if I back to UK.
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