21th August, 2009
Last night or suppose to say early in the morning,about 4am? My landlord don't know bring what woman come back or his wife, I have no idea about that. That woman is totally crazy, bang our door and shouting. What the F***! I am in a good sleep and this crazy woman make me can't sleep back after that. Maybe I was shocked because of the suddenly loud noise,I sleep back after 5 smtg. This make my mood totally turn into bad mood. Damn them...*sorry to be so mean in words, but I am too angry.
They make me remember what my collegue from Bangladesh told me, he said every man has a wife and a girl friend. Well, they are Muslim, and there they are, still behaving like that. I do not want to comment a lot, I just do not agree with their perspective. I will never ever forgive someone betray me, especially the one I love. What happen to people in this world? What happen to love? Is it something that is so fragile and worthless for us to cherish and appreciate? I know and accept that love is nothing for nowadays, but when I heard someone married say or do something like that, I felt a bit unacceptable.
I love to be in love, but if this is what will happen at the end, what is the point then? I never think to get married but at least I found someone that I love (if I really know what is LOVE). However, I know I love my family. Today I visit my baby sis blogs and suddenly I realise she is not baby anymore, not my baby sis that do not anything anymore. She grows up already and now she is a pretty young lady (+smart). She has her own personal problems, emotions and stuff. So regret to say we are not sister that can talk a lot about everything, maybe it is my problem. I never spend my time to know my family, I am not so close to my family. When she has problem, she does not come to me, so am I. It is a pity thing actually as we are family.
I wish all the best for her and I hope I can give her the best after I able to have a stable financial. I want the best for my family but now I am still finding my way out to this society, I am nothing besides play a small role as a waitress in this big universal. I want to be a big person in this universe. I believe I am born to become someone, someone that has certain achievement, not just normal lame Phoebe. Even though I feel I am stupid, without much knowledge now, I believe I can do it. It is just I have to find the medium for me to be someone. Even though now I am in the mist, lost in some path and don’t know where shall I heading, but I believe, one day, I will be someone.
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