Friday, August 21, 2009

Sucks morning start my day

21th August, 2009

Last night or suppose to say early in the morning,about 4am? My landlord don't know bring what woman come back or his wife, I have no idea about that. That woman is totally crazy, bang our door and shouting. What the F***! I am in a good sleep and this crazy woman make me can't sleep back after that. Maybe I was shocked because of the suddenly loud noise,I sleep back after 5 smtg. This make my mood totally turn into bad mood. Damn them...*sorry to be so mean in words, but I am too angry.

They make me remember what my collegue from Bangladesh told me, he said every man has a wife and a girl friend. Well, they are Muslim, and there they are, still behaving like that. I do not want to comment a lot, I just do not agree with their perspective. I will never ever forgive someone betray me, especially the one I love. What happen to people in this world? What happen to love? Is it something that is so fragile and worthless for us to cherish and appreciate? I know and accept that love is nothing for nowadays, but when I heard someone married say or do something like that, I felt a bit unacceptable.

I love to be in love, but if this is what will happen at the end, what is the point then? I never think to get married but at least I found someone that I love (if I really know what is LOVE). However, I know I love my family. Today I visit my baby sis blogs and suddenly I realise she is not baby anymore, not my baby sis that do not anything anymore. She grows up already and now she is a pretty young lady (+smart). She has her own personal problems, emotions and stuff. So regret to say we are not sister that can talk a lot about everything, maybe it is my problem. I never spend my time to know my family, I am not so close to my family. When she has problem, she does not come to me, so am I. It is a pity thing actually as we are family.

I wish all the best for her and I hope I can give her the best after I able to have a stable financial. I want the best for my family but now I am still finding my way out to this society, I am nothing besides play a small role as a waitress in this big universal. I want to be a big person in this universe. I believe I am born to become someone, someone that has certain achievement, not just normal lame Phoebe. Even though I feel I am stupid, without much knowledge now, I believe I can do it. It is just I have to find the medium for me to be someone. Even though now I am in the mist, lost in some path and don’t know where shall I heading, but I believe, one day, I will be someone.

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