Finally back to my blog again...Guess what? I am enjoying my hot chocolate at Costa. I must say not every Costa make nice hot chocolate. I don't like drink hot chocolate before,it is too sweet to me. I try once and I love it, but I only will drink hot chocolate at Hastings Costa. Bravo!
Drinking hot chocolate at nice atmosphere Costa, reading Vogue from USA,this moment is perfect. Everything I do,honestly,just to distract myself. I try to stay in hostel but it is terribly suffering. Last night a very good friend that I always respect chatting with me (actually he wants to ask what happen to me only). I can't face my failure and talk to no one about this,except him. During our chatting, I know he tried to counsel me but I did not buy in whatever he said.
It did surprise me,as I never reject his opinion before,as I think he is smarter a lot and success in managing himself. However, this time,it is different. I fall into a very deep hole that no one can pull me out anymore. I am trying to lock myself in a room,where I can't come out and move on.
I try to be a different person,stay away from my friend and family and live in a life that is meaningless and effortless. When we are kid, we are told to stand up and climb again if we fall. What about if I fall too many times and frustrated to stand up anymore. I just want to sit on the floor, as I am too scare of the falling's pain.
I don't know when I will recover but I clearly understand,not now! You need a lot of courage to stand up again after all the falling part! People keep on moving in and out from Costa,but I still on my seat,unwilling to move forward...
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