2009年4月24日，阴
病了。。感觉很不好，好难受哦！已经一段日子没生病了，有一年多了吧！没人告诉我，来外国一定会生病。因为他们这里有个季节是会因花粉而导致人生病的。好冤枉啊！全屋子的朋友都病了，不过，只有我恶化，他们已经开始复原了。生病已经够折磨人的啦，竟然还得赶三分功课。说，死不死？昨晚还熬夜到四点多临晨才睡。结果，今天的病情比昨天更糟糕。感冒加上喉咙不舒服，真的有得受的咯！
今天得交一份功课，我email了给老师，不过，又不肯定她有收到。结果，只好走去学院。怎知，倒霉真的有条路的！到了学院，老师回去了，图书馆又关了！带了整书包的书的我，又得背着那么重的书回去，也无法把功课印出来。天啊，怎么我那么倒霉啊？
一边走出学院，一边心情好糟糕。再加上觉得病情变得更严重了，除了呼吸困难，还觉得很想呕吐。总之，整个人都不舒服，也很难受！走着走着，突然间，好想哭哦！那眩间，说真的，真的真的很想大哭。有个朋友跟我说过，当你觉得辛苦或难受，无法解决任何问题时，你就用你的方式，哭一场，哭够了，就睡觉，第二天再想办法！当眼泪真的差点要掉落时，还是忍住了。一直告诉自己，没什么好哭得，只要撑下去就会没事的，都那么大了。。就这样，撑过来了。
当中，当然真的很难受和辛苦，不过，我还有很多东西得烦和做。真的没有很多的时间给我哭着发呆着。还能怎样？当朋友看到我这个死样，他们也满好心，问我要不要吃药，把什么喉咙痛药递给我了。谢谢你们的关心啦，不过，不懂咧，我就是不是很好意思接受人的好意。他们也得花钱买的啊。。不过，他们的好意，我真的心领了。我应该没什么时间休息了吧，下星期一和二得交两份功课咧。有点吃不消的感觉啊。。哈哈。。好想念家人和我的家啊。。看来我这穷人家的大小姐还真逊啊。。。
Friday, April 24, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
sucks early morning
19 April, 2009
It is early in the morning, or can be said as midnite? Haiz…whatever! Now mood not really so good, suppose say in stress, frustrated! What am I frustrated with? Still can be what besides assignments? Sucks…now already calm down, an hour before, I am terrible than now, like want to explode! Dono why now always in stress, sometimes think too much until I can’t sleep. I hate that, cannot sleep no matter how long you lay on the bed….your brain won’t stop moving, thinking, worrying…. Lately really got quite lot of things needs to think and worry.
Even though people always say do not worry something that have not happen yet, but it just cannot fly away from your mind. Keep on following you and make your mood sucks, even steal away your sleeping peace and time. Damn! So, what can do? Console yourself lohh, if not, kill people meh? Or run away, don want study liao? Siao ahh? That time, my mom mah kill me lohh…waste so lot of money liao but run away? What theory?
Haiz…I am so regret study business…damn sucks business management! So damn boring and meaningless (to me). I choose to study this also because the certification and duration of 1 year to get degree, if not, you kill me, I also don’t want study this course. Damn bored and also dono what I studied….Go class, listen and dreaming, then go back and hug my stupid assignment and books suffering loh…whatelse? Suffer a while, then cannot tahan, run from reality….go watch movie, drama, play games, listen songs, singing, chatting, bluffing, dance like mad person…what else can do? Haha….this is my degree studying life lahh….waste mom so lot money then become siao person without knowledge in brain….
Now damn hate study liao, don’t want study liao loh after graduate. Suffered enough liao, need go out to society university to learn liao…maybe more suffer than now? Who care? At least can earn money, not like now, feel sorry for wasting mom money. How come someone can become more lost after study to higher level of education? Study more become more stupid…haih…this is me lohh! No target, no motivation, no destination, no money, no knowledge, no experience, no boyfriend, no body shape, no entertainment…..die lohh me like that, so many “no”. For what I came here ohh? Haiyaya….
It is early in the morning, or can be said as midnite? Haiz…whatever! Now mood not really so good, suppose say in stress, frustrated! What am I frustrated with? Still can be what besides assignments? Sucks…now already calm down, an hour before, I am terrible than now, like want to explode! Dono why now always in stress, sometimes think too much until I can’t sleep. I hate that, cannot sleep no matter how long you lay on the bed….your brain won’t stop moving, thinking, worrying…. Lately really got quite lot of things needs to think and worry.
Even though people always say do not worry something that have not happen yet, but it just cannot fly away from your mind. Keep on following you and make your mood sucks, even steal away your sleeping peace and time. Damn! So, what can do? Console yourself lohh, if not, kill people meh? Or run away, don want study liao? Siao ahh? That time, my mom mah kill me lohh…waste so lot of money liao but run away? What theory?
Haiz…I am so regret study business…damn sucks business management! So damn boring and meaningless (to me). I choose to study this also because the certification and duration of 1 year to get degree, if not, you kill me, I also don’t want study this course. Damn bored and also dono what I studied….Go class, listen and dreaming, then go back and hug my stupid assignment and books suffering loh…whatelse? Suffer a while, then cannot tahan, run from reality….go watch movie, drama, play games, listen songs, singing, chatting, bluffing, dance like mad person…what else can do? Haha….this is my degree studying life lahh….waste mom so lot money then become siao person without knowledge in brain….
Now damn hate study liao, don’t want study liao loh after graduate. Suffered enough liao, need go out to society university to learn liao…maybe more suffer than now? Who care? At least can earn money, not like now, feel sorry for wasting mom money. How come someone can become more lost after study to higher level of education? Study more become more stupid…haih…this is me lohh! No target, no motivation, no destination, no money, no knowledge, no experience, no boyfriend, no body shape, no entertainment…..die lohh me like that, so many “no”. For what I came here ohh? Haiyaya….
Friday, April 10, 2009
挥不去的纳闷
2009年4月10日，晴
从昨天到今天，心情一直都陷入谷底。很多事情或烦恼一直在脑海中浮现。就连晚上，躺在床上，问题依然缠着我。感觉很纳闷，那股纳闷塞在心口，怎样也挥不去，甚至有时觉得呼吸困难。烦钱，烦功课，烦考试，烦毕业后的路该怎么走。本来开开心心的我，泫然间变得不知所措了。在床上翻来覆去，一直无法入眠。夜深里，更加感到那股寂寞。真的不得不问自己，这是你要的生活吗？想着想着，就这样入睡了，问题持总没有答案。
也许这里没有真心的朋友，也许只有我自己的关系，一切只有我自己可以解决。原来人大了，真的要开始负担很多。很多事情没有我想象的那么简单。有点害怕，非常没有安全感。在我人生当中，最会令我没安全感的不是男人，而是没有钱。每当我没钱了或是必须烦恼钱的时候，我会变得非常没安全感，非常急躁。我无法再开口向家人求助，因为他们已经为我付出了很多。当需要自己来担待的时候，我变得懦弱起来了。真可笑，原来我是那么经不起大风大浪的人。
也许在有些人的眼中，我很独立，很厉害，一个女孩那么大胆独自去外国升学。其实，我并没有那么大的胆子，身边有很多人帮我。当需要自己去承担时，我并没有想象中那么坚强了。就这样，整个人都变得烦躁起来了，很不开心。再加上，这里没有朋友可以谈心事，总觉得只有我一个人。我又很怕闷的人，没有任何娱乐的小地方，简直让我发慌了。我好想发泄，该怎么发泄？今天虽然鱼尝试让我好过点，不过，那股纳闷还是挥不去，一直困在心口。我快憋疯了！！
从昨天到今天，心情一直都陷入谷底。很多事情或烦恼一直在脑海中浮现。就连晚上，躺在床上，问题依然缠着我。感觉很纳闷，那股纳闷塞在心口，怎样也挥不去，甚至有时觉得呼吸困难。烦钱，烦功课，烦考试，烦毕业后的路该怎么走。本来开开心心的我，泫然间变得不知所措了。在床上翻来覆去，一直无法入眠。夜深里，更加感到那股寂寞。真的不得不问自己，这是你要的生活吗？想着想着，就这样入睡了，问题持总没有答案。
也许这里没有真心的朋友，也许只有我自己的关系，一切只有我自己可以解决。原来人大了，真的要开始负担很多。很多事情没有我想象的那么简单。有点害怕，非常没有安全感。在我人生当中，最会令我没安全感的不是男人，而是没有钱。每当我没钱了或是必须烦恼钱的时候，我会变得非常没安全感，非常急躁。我无法再开口向家人求助，因为他们已经为我付出了很多。当需要自己来担待的时候，我变得懦弱起来了。真可笑，原来我是那么经不起大风大浪的人。
也许在有些人的眼中，我很独立，很厉害，一个女孩那么大胆独自去外国升学。其实，我并没有那么大的胆子，身边有很多人帮我。当需要自己去承担时，我并没有想象中那么坚强了。就这样，整个人都变得烦躁起来了，很不开心。再加上，这里没有朋友可以谈心事，总觉得只有我一个人。我又很怕闷的人，没有任何娱乐的小地方，简直让我发慌了。我好想发泄，该怎么发泄？今天虽然鱼尝试让我好过点，不过，那股纳闷还是挥不去，一直困在心口。我快憋疯了！！
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Fun fun fun^^amazing
9th April, 2009
Hoho...my friend give me tips in doing photos...gosh, I love that so much, I have lot of fun in decorating my photos...haha...let have a look^^
I quite love this photo..do you?
Have a cup of tea and enjoy the photos^^
Well, I already in the cup...hoho
This guy see me in the comet...gosh
m3 as poster in front shopMonday, April 6, 2009
Stupid enough to be cheated?
6th April, 2009
I am mad now, not really mad, but…arghh…how to express my feeling now? A bit frustrated, maybe. I was “cheated” by some people. Bloody hell…I stunned and totally speechless when the person said that “so, you already know the truth”. What? At first, I am not so mad if he just haha and then shut up. He still continued to say that “quite happy to cheat you as you are so easy to cheat”.
Gosh! I am starting turn from acceptable into mad, not totally mad, just feel frustrated and a bit angry. I hate people lie to me, especially my friends (who I thought is my friend). I rather you don’t tell me anything than lie to me. Yaya, I am so stupid to believe people and give chance to them to cheat me or what they considered as fun or joking. Joking got the limit and I am so done with it! Don’t ever hope I will trust some people anymore because they are not trustworthy. I would not argue or make the mad face infront of them because I am trying so hard to control my anger but that’s it!
I am not easily cheated but I believe what my friend said because I do not want suspicious exist within me and friends but what I got in return? Cheating me as a joke and still said that you should believe in yourself and this can become a test for you. Who bloody hell are you to test me? Believe in myself? Haha…a very good and valid reason to make joke on me hah? Please know what thing people cannot stand of before you want to joke.
I don’t know why but I am so particular in friends cheating me. I had enough people using me or cheating me BECAUSE I AM SO EASILY CHEATED!!!! Who do you think I am? STUPID GAL that believe everything people said? Maybe I look nice and vulnerable or easily read by people, that is what you think and I wish you good luck with your that perception about me.
I won’t have any comment about what those people did publicly and confront them, but obviously, I know how to treat some people that considered as “friends” in future. Not everyone, of course…Thanks god that I know how to control myself before I bursting out everything in my mind and also my anger…I don’t need more enemy but I won’t be true to particular “friends”.
I am mad now, not really mad, but…arghh…how to express my feeling now? A bit frustrated, maybe. I was “cheated” by some people. Bloody hell…I stunned and totally speechless when the person said that “so, you already know the truth”. What? At first, I am not so mad if he just haha and then shut up. He still continued to say that “quite happy to cheat you as you are so easy to cheat”.
Gosh! I am starting turn from acceptable into mad, not totally mad, just feel frustrated and a bit angry. I hate people lie to me, especially my friends (who I thought is my friend). I rather you don’t tell me anything than lie to me. Yaya, I am so stupid to believe people and give chance to them to cheat me or what they considered as fun or joking. Joking got the limit and I am so done with it! Don’t ever hope I will trust some people anymore because they are not trustworthy. I would not argue or make the mad face infront of them because I am trying so hard to control my anger but that’s it!
I am not easily cheated but I believe what my friend said because I do not want suspicious exist within me and friends but what I got in return? Cheating me as a joke and still said that you should believe in yourself and this can become a test for you. Who bloody hell are you to test me? Believe in myself? Haha…a very good and valid reason to make joke on me hah? Please know what thing people cannot stand of before you want to joke.
I don’t know why but I am so particular in friends cheating me. I had enough people using me or cheating me BECAUSE I AM SO EASILY CHEATED!!!! Who do you think I am? STUPID GAL that believe everything people said? Maybe I look nice and vulnerable or easily read by people, that is what you think and I wish you good luck with your that perception about me.
I won’t have any comment about what those people did publicly and confront them, but obviously, I know how to treat some people that considered as “friends” in future. Not everyone, of course…Thanks god that I know how to control myself before I bursting out everything in my mind and also my anger…I don’t need more enemy but I won’t be true to particular “friends”.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Lame me, dull Life
3rd April, 2009
Lame day, lame m3! What else can be? Every day is just such a bored day to me now! I want to do my assignment but somehow and something, I dono, I just failed to do so...hmm..blame who?
However, someone brighten my day! My frend, a frend I gain from all those ridiculous rumors and also those drama things...haha...I love her,she is really a good friend to me now. Well, don't ever misunderstood when I say , not that kind of love, haloo....haha...
I felt that it had been few weeks since the last time I chat with her through internet, gosh..a long time ago...haha...well, for me, I think! When we chat, suddenly I felt that we had some difference of thinking in certain thing...well, we experience different stuff now, it is normal hah? Maybe...I dono...I just have a thought in my mind that I don't want to lose any friends anymore... I never want to be in the position that make me chose a side that finally make me lose my friends...
It hurts as anyone know! Advice for everyone that have the chance read my blog, or accidently pop in my blog...do not have any working or business or money relationship with friends that you appreciate so much because it will be a devastation to your friendship especially for those that have competitive personality.
I learned from my course and also my experience that different status in a relationship is such a sucks! Am I rude? Sorry, but I mean it! Friends are friends, peers are peers, don't mix them! Maybe there are some intelligent and high EQ people out there capable to mix them together without any conflicts or drama stuff, congratulation! But for me, that's it! I will prefer separate...
Well, there are also friend that share girl secret with me! Aha...a small surprising for me. Gosh, I miss all those girls secret, girls activities, and and and all those girl stuff...Oops, maybe some will consider me as woman already as I am 21 now, but I love girl things...ps. I don't think 21 is old enough to stop to be girlish, you know....haha...
Such a pathetic is I am surrounded by guys in the hostel, mostly close with guy friends in college, rarely talk to girl or lady, do not have any girlish activities anymore....I am really turning into such a lame girl with such a dull life....
Help me if there are prince outside there (I realy mean by prince, not...u noe...)no prejudice...I met too a lot of jerks and I hate to talk to jerks as they just want to have fun by talking sweetly to girl...JERKS....really can't stand of them!
Well, I am not really mean only prince...gosh,what am I talking now? babbling by myself....haiz..
single girl or lady, watever...without any entertainment, bored of present life, no much girl friends around to do girl things ended like me...pathetic...
Lame day, lame m3! What else can be? Every day is just such a bored day to me now! I want to do my assignment but somehow and something, I dono, I just failed to do so...hmm..blame who?
However, someone brighten my day! My frend, a frend I gain from all those ridiculous rumors and also those drama things...haha...I love her,she is really a good friend to me now. Well, don't ever misunderstood when I say , not that kind of love, haloo....haha...
I felt that it had been few weeks since the last time I chat with her through internet, gosh..a long time ago...haha...well, for me, I think! When we chat, suddenly I felt that we had some difference of thinking in certain thing...well, we experience different stuff now, it is normal hah? Maybe...I dono...I just have a thought in my mind that I don't want to lose any friends anymore... I never want to be in the position that make me chose a side that finally make me lose my friends...
It hurts as anyone know! Advice for everyone that have the chance read my blog, or accidently pop in my blog...do not have any working or business or money relationship with friends that you appreciate so much because it will be a devastation to your friendship especially for those that have competitive personality.
I learned from my course and also my experience that different status in a relationship is such a sucks! Am I rude? Sorry, but I mean it! Friends are friends, peers are peers, don't mix them! Maybe there are some intelligent and high EQ people out there capable to mix them together without any conflicts or drama stuff, congratulation! But for me, that's it! I will prefer separate...
Well, there are also friend that share girl secret with me! Aha...a small surprising for me. Gosh, I miss all those girls secret, girls activities, and and and all those girl stuff...Oops, maybe some will consider me as woman already as I am 21 now, but I love girl things...ps. I don't think 21 is old enough to stop to be girlish, you know....haha...
Such a pathetic is I am surrounded by guys in the hostel, mostly close with guy friends in college, rarely talk to girl or lady, do not have any girlish activities anymore....I am really turning into such a lame girl with such a dull life....
Help me if there are prince outside there (I realy mean by prince, not...u noe...)no prejudice...I met too a lot of jerks and I hate to talk to jerks as they just want to have fun by talking sweetly to girl...JERKS....really can't stand of them!
Well, I am not really mean only prince...gosh,what am I talking now? babbling by myself....haiz..
single girl or lady, watever...without any entertainment, bored of present life, no much girl friends around to do girl things ended like me...pathetic...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)