不要跟你所在乎的人 ~ 嘔氣太久~~會讓你一輩子都後悔的!!

有为朋友发了一封email给我,当我看到那么多字时,第一反应大多数是不看,和走出那封email..不过,这次,不懂为什么,有种感觉叫我要看这封email.结果就看到我哭得..哈哈..希望大家会抽点时间看看..
感人的故事
>疼惜您所擁有的珍藏，追尋您所期盼的夢想-----這是個真實的故事（蘆荻口述　連淑香整理)
一個個無情的誤解，打亂了幸福的腳步。當命運的死結終於用代價打開，一切都為時已晚。接婆婆來家安度晚年﹐結果卻背離我們的初衷﹐結婚二年後﹐先生跟我商量把婆婆從鄉下接來安度晚年。先生很小時父親就過世了﹐他是婆婆唯一的寄託﹐婆婆一個人扶養他長大﹐供他讀完大學。含辛茹苦'這四個字用在婆婆的身上﹐絕對不為過！我連連說好﹐馬上給婆婆收拾出一間南向帶陽台的房間﹐可以曬太陽﹐養花草什麼的。先生站在陽光充足的房間﹐一句話沒說﹐卻突然舉起我在房間裡轉圈﹐在我張牙舞爪地求饒時﹐先生說﹕'接咱們媽去。'先生身材高大﹐我喜歡貼著他的胸口﹐感覺嬌小的身體隨時可被他抓起來塞進口袋。當我和先生發生爭執而又不肯屈服時﹐先生就把我舉起來﹐在腦袋上方搖搖晃晃﹐
一直到我嚇得求饒。這種驚恐的快樂讓我迷戀。婆婆在鄉下的習慣一時改不掉。我習慣買束鮮花擺在客廳裡﹐婆婆後來實在忍不住﹕你們娃娃不知道過日子﹐買花幹什麼？又不能當飯吃！'我笑著說﹕'媽﹐家裡有鮮花盛開﹐人的心情會好。'婆婆低著頭嘟噥﹐先生就笑﹕媽﹐這是城裡人的習慣﹐慢慢的﹐你就習慣了。'婆婆不再說什麼﹐但每次見我買了鮮花回來﹐依舊忍不住問花了多少錢﹐我說了﹐他就'嘖嘖'咂嘴。有時﹐見我買大包小包的東西回家﹐她就問這個多少錢那個多少錢﹐我─如實回答﹐她的嘴就咂的更響了。先生擰著我的鼻子說﹕'小傻瓜你別告訴她真實價錢不就行了嗎？'快樂的生活漸漸有了不和諧的聲音。婆婆最看不慣我先生起來做早餐。在她看來﹐大男人給老婆燒飯﹐哪有這個道理？早餐桌上﹐婆婆經常陰著一張臉﹐我裝做看不見。婆婆便把筷子弄得叮噹亂響﹐這是她無聲的抗議。我在少年宮做舞蹈老師﹐跳一整天舞已夠累的了﹐早晨暖洋洋的被窩﹐我不想扔掉這惟一的享受﹐於是﹐我對婆婆的抗議裝聾作啞。
婆婆偶爾願意幫我做一些家務﹐但她一做我就更忙了。比如﹐她把用過的垃圾袋通通收集起來﹐說等攢夠了賣廢塑料﹐搞得家裡到處都是廢塑料袋；她捨不得用洗潔精洗碗﹐為了不傷她的自尊﹐我只好偷偷再洗一遍。一次﹐我晚上偷偷洗碗被婆婆看見了﹐她'啪'的一聲摔上門﹐趴在自己的房間裡放聲大哭。先生左右為難﹐事後﹐先生一晚上沒跟我說話﹐我撒嬌﹐耍賴﹐他也不理我。我火了﹐ 問他﹕'我究竟哪裡做錯了？'先生瞪著我說﹕'你就不能遷就一下﹐碗再不乾淨也吃不死人吧？'後來﹐好長一段時間﹐婆婆不跟我說話﹐家裡的氣氛開始逐漸尷尬。那段日子﹐先生活得很累﹐不知道要先逗誰開心好。婆婆為了不讓兒子做早餐﹐義無反顧地承擔起燒早飯的'重任'。婆婆看著先生吃得快樂﹐再看看我﹐用眼神譴責我沒有盡到做妻子的責任。
為了逃避尷尬﹐我只好在上班的路上買包奶打發自己。睡覺時﹐先生有點生氣地問我﹕蘆荻﹐是不是嫌棄我媽做飯不衛生才不在家吃？'翻了一個身﹐他扔給我冷冷的脊背﹐任憑我委屈的流淚。最後﹐先生嘆氣﹕蘆荻﹐就當是為了我﹐你在家吃早餐行不行？'我只好回到尷尬的早餐桌上。那天早晨﹐我喝著婆婆煮的稀飯﹐忽然一陣反胃﹐肚子裡所有的東西都搶著向外奔跑﹐我拼命地壓抑著不讓它們往上翻湧﹐但還是壓不住﹐我扔下碗﹐衝進廁所﹐吐得稀裡嘩啦。當我喘息著平定下來時﹐聽見婆婆夾雜著家鄉話的抱怨和哭聲﹐先生站在衛生間門口憤怒地望著我﹐我乾張著嘴巴說不出話﹐我真的不是故意的。我和先生開始了第一次激烈的爭吵﹐婆婆先是瞪著眼看我們﹐然後起身﹐蹣跚著出門去了。先生恨恨地瞪了我一眼﹐下樓追婆婆去了。意外迎來新生命﹐卻突然葬送了婆婆的性命！整整三天﹐先生沒有回家﹐連電話都沒有。我正氣著﹐想想自從婆婆來後﹐我已經受夠委屈了﹐還要我怎麼樣？莫明其妙的﹐我最近總想嘔吐﹐吃什麼都沒有胃口﹐加上亂七八糟的家事﹐心情差到了極點。後來﹐還是同事告訴我﹕'蘆荻﹐你臉色很差﹐還是去醫院看看吧。'醫院檢查的結果是我懷孕了。我明白了那天早晨我為什麼突然嘔吐﹐幸福中夾著一絲幽怨﹕先生和曾經是過來人的婆婆﹐他們怎麼就絲毫沒有想到這點呢？在醫院門口﹐我看見了先生。僅僅三天沒見﹐他憔悴了許多。我本想轉身就走﹐但他的模樣讓我心疼﹐沒忍住﹐我喊了他。先生循著聲音看見了我﹐卻好像不認識了﹐眼神裡有一絲藏不住的厭惡﹐這冰冷地刺傷了我。我跟自己說不要看他不要看他﹐伸手攔了一輛出租車。那時﹐我多想向先生大喊一聲﹕親愛的我要給你生個寶貝了！'然後被他舉起來﹐幸福地旋轉。我希望的並沒有發生。在出租車裡﹐我的眼淚才遲遲地落下來。為什麼一場爭吵就讓愛情糟糕到這樣的程度？回家後﹐我躺在床上想先生﹐想他滿眼的厭惡。我握著被子的一角哭了。夜裡﹐家裡有翻抽屜的聲音。打開燈﹐我看見先生淚流滿面的臉。他正在拿錢。我冷冷地看著他﹐一聲不響。他對我視若無睹﹐拿著存摺和鈔票匆匆離開。或許先生是打算徹底離開我了。
真是個理智的男人﹐情與錢分得如此清楚。我冷笑了幾下﹐眼淚'嘩啦嘩啦 '的流下來。第二天﹐我沒去上班。想徹底清理一下自己的思緒﹐找先生好好談一談。找到先生的公司﹐秘書有點奇怪地看著我說﹕陳總的母親出了車禍﹐這幾天都在醫院裡呢。'我瞠目結舌。飛奔到醫院﹐找到先生時﹐婆婆已經去世了。先生一直不看我﹐一臉僵硬。我望著婆婆幹瘦蒼白的臉﹐眼淚止不住﹕天哪！怎麼會是這樣？直到安葬了婆婆﹐先生也沒跟我說一句話﹐甚至看我一眼都帶著深深的厭惡。關於車禍﹐我還是從別人嘴裡了解到大概﹐婆婆出門後迷迷糊糊地向車站走﹐她想回老家﹐先生越追她走得越快﹐穿過馬路時﹐一輛公車迎面撞過來……我終於明白了先生的厭惡﹐如果那天早晨我沒有嘔吐﹐如果我們沒有爭吵﹐如果……在他的心裡﹐認定我是間接殺死他母親的罪人。先生默不作聲搬進了婆婆的房間﹐每晚回來都滿身酒氣。而我一直被愧疚和可憐的自尊折騰得喘不過氣來﹐想跟他解釋﹐想跟他說我們快有孩子了﹐但看著他冰冷的眼神﹐又把所有的話都咽了回去。我寧願先生打我一頓或者罵我一頓﹐雖然這一切事故都不是我故意要它發生的。日子一天一天地窒息著重覆下去﹐先生回家的時間越來越晚。我們僵持著﹐比一般的陌生人還要尷尬。我是繫在他心上的死結。一次﹐我路過一家西餐廳﹐穿過透明的落地窗﹐ 我看見先生和一個年輕女孩面對面坐著﹐他輕輕地為女孩攏了攏頭髮﹐我就明白了這一切。先是呆住﹐然後我進了西餐廳﹐站在先生面前﹐死死盯著他看﹐眼裡沒有一滴淚。我什麼也不想說﹐也無話可說。女孩看看我﹐看看我先生﹐站起來想走﹐但我先生伸手按住她﹐然後﹐同樣死死地﹐一樣絕不示弱地看著我。我只能聽見自己緩慢的心跳﹐一下一下跳動在瀕臨死亡般的蒼白邊緣。輸了的是我﹐如果再站下去﹐我會和肚子裡的孩子一起倒下的。那一夜﹐先生沒回家﹐他用這樣的方式讓我明白﹕隨著婆婆的去世﹐我們的愛情也死了。先生再也沒有回來過。有時﹐我下班回來﹐看見衣櫥有被動過──是先生回來拿一點自己的東西。我不想給他打電話﹐原先還有試圖向他解釋一番的念頭﹐但一切都已經徹底失去了。我一個人過生活﹐一個人去醫院作產檢﹐每每看見有男人小心地扶著妻子去做產檢﹐我的心便碎的不成樣子。同事隱約勸我拿掉算了﹐我堅決說不﹐
我發瘋似的一定要生下這個孩子﹐也算是對婆婆的死的補償吧。我下班回來﹐先生坐在客廳裡﹐滿屋子煙霧彌漫﹐茶几上擺著一張紙。沒必要看﹐我知道那裡面寫了什麼內容。先生不在家的二個多月﹐我逐漸學會了平靜。我看著他﹐摘下帽子﹐說﹕'你等一下﹐我簽字。'先生看著我﹐眼神複雜﹐和我一樣。我一邊解大衣扣子一邊在心裡對自己說﹕'不哭不能哭……'眼睛很疼﹐但我決不讓眼淚流出來。掛好大衣﹐先生的眼睛死死的盯著我已然隆起的肚子。我笑了笑﹐走過去﹐拖過那張紙﹐看也不看﹐簽上自己的名字﹐推還給他。蘆荻﹐你懷孕了？'自從婆婆出事後﹐這是先生跟我說的第一句話。我再也管不住眼睛﹐眼淚一瞬間嘩啦地流下來。我說﹕'是啊﹐不過沒事﹐你可以走了。'先生沒走﹐黑暗裡﹐我們對望著。先生慢慢趴在我身上﹐眼淚滲透了被子。而在我心裡﹐很多東西已經走遠了﹐遠到即使我奔跑都追不到了。不記得先生跟我說過多少遍'對不起'了﹐我也曾經以為自己會原諒﹐但卻不能﹐在西餐廳先生當著那個女孩的面﹐他那冰冷的眼神﹐這輩子﹐我忘記不了了。我們在彼此心上劃下了一道不可磨滅的傷痕。我的﹐是無意的；他的﹐是刻意的。期待著冰釋前嫌﹐但過去的已無法再重來！除了想起肚子裡的孩子時心裡是暖暖的﹐而對先生﹐我心是冷如冰霜﹐不吃他買的任何東西﹐不收他的任何禮物﹐不跟他多說一句話。從在那張紙上簽了字後﹐婚姻以及愛情統統在我的心裡消失了。有時先生試圖進臥室﹐他來﹐我就出去客廳﹐先生只好睡回婆婆的房間。夜裡﹐從先生的房間有時會傳來輕微的呻吟﹐我都一聲不響。這是他習慣玩的伎倆﹐以前只要我不理他了﹐他就裝病﹐我就會乖乖投降﹐關心他怎麼了﹐他就一把抓住我哈哈大笑。他似乎忘了﹐那時﹐我會心疼是因為有愛情﹐而現在﹐我們還有什麼？先生的呻吟斷斷續續的一直到孩子出生。他幾乎每天都在給孩子買東西﹐嬰兒用品﹐兒童用品﹐以及孩子喜歡的書﹐一包包的﹐快把他的房間堆滿了。我知道他是想用這樣的方式感動我﹐而我完全不為所動。他只好關在房間裡﹐用電腦'批哩啪啦'敲字﹐或許他正網戀吧﹐但對我已經是無所謂的事了。隔年春未的一個深夜﹐劇烈的腹痛讓我叫了出來﹐先生一個箭步衝進來﹐好像他根本就沒脫衣服睡覺﹐為的就是等這一刻的到來。先生背起我就往樓下跑﹐攔車﹐一路上緊緊地握住我的手﹐不停地幫我擦掉額頭上的汗。到了醫院﹐背起我就往婦產科跑。趴在他幹瘦而溫暖的背上﹐一個念頭忽然闖進我心裡﹕這一生﹐還有人會像他這樣疼愛我嗎？先生扶著產房的門把喘息著﹐看著我被推進去﹐那眼神是暖融融的﹐我忍著陣痛對他笑了一下。從產房出來後﹐先生望著我和兒子﹐眼睛濕濕地笑啊笑啊的。我摸了一下他的手﹐卻是意外的冰冷先生望著我﹐微笑﹐然後﹐緩慢而疲憊地癱軟倒下。我放聲叫喊著他名字……先生依然笑著﹐但沒睜開那疲憊的眼睛……我以為這一生我再也不會為先生流一滴淚﹐而事實卻是﹐從沒有過的如此劇痛撕扯著我的身體。醫生說﹐我先生的肝癌發現時已是晚期﹐他能堅持這麼久真的算是奇蹟。我問醫生什麼 時候發現的？醫生說在五個月前﹐然後安慰我﹕'好好的準備後事吧。'我不顧護士的阻攔﹐回到家﹐衝進先生的房間打開電腦﹐心跳一下子被疼痛窒息了。先生的肝癌在五個月前就已發現﹐他在夜裡的呻吟是真的﹐我居然還以為……
而電腦上滿滿的20多萬字﹐是先生寫給兒子的留言﹕孩子﹐為了你﹐我一直在堅持﹐我要撐到看你一眼再倒下﹐是我這一生最大的願望……我知道﹐你的一生會有很多快樂或者遇到挫折﹐如果我能夠陪你經歷這個成長歷程﹐那該有多麼美好﹐但我想爸爸我沒有這個機會了。爸爸在電腦上﹐把你一生可能遇到的問題一一地寫下來﹐當你之後遇到這些問題時﹐或許你可以參考爸爸給你的意見…………孩子﹐寫完這20多萬字﹐我感覺像陪你經歷了整個成長過程。真的﹐爸爸現在很快樂。好好愛你的媽媽﹐她很辛苦﹐她是這世上最愛你的人﹐也是我這世上最愛的人……從兒子去幼兒園到讀小學﹐讀中學﹐大學﹐到工作以及愛情種種方面﹐巨細靡遺都寫到了。先生也給我寫了留言﹕親愛的﹐娶了你是我一輩子最大的幸福﹐原諒我對你的傷害﹐原諒我隱瞞了病情﹐因為我想讓你有個好的心情等待孩子的出生……親愛的﹐如果你現在哭了﹐那代表你已經原諒我了﹐那我就會笑了﹐謝謝你一直愛著我…還為我生了個孩子…這些禮物﹐我想我是沒有機會親自送給孩子了﹐請你每年替我送他幾份禮物﹐包裝盒子上都寫好了送禮物的日期……親愛的……回到醫院﹐先生依舊在昏迷中。我把兒子抱過來﹐放在他身邊﹐我說﹕你睜開眼笑一下吧﹐我要讓兒子記住在他爸爸懷裡的溫暖……'先生艱難地睜開眼﹐微微地笑了一下。兒子偎依在他懷裡﹐舞動著粉紅色的小手。我'喀嚓喀嚓'按下快門﹐淚水在臉上放肆地流……
親愛的朋友們 :轉傳一篇感人的文章與你們分享，在你看完了故事，並哭紅你的雙眼時，請記得這個故事警惕我們，有話要講出來，不要憋在心裡，尤其是對於你所在乎的人。「人生最大的懲罰就是後悔」，有智慧的您--能不好好把握嗎？

My First Ever Best Xmas Dinner

25 September, 2008, Sunny

WOW...this is wat I can express! Y? Let me tell you^^I went to Goodwick, a place near Fishguard to celebrate my Xmas Eve and it is terrific nice! I never expect that I can gain so much in this dinner...

FIRST, Laying husband, Bob came to fetch us and bring us for a tour with car...haha...and it is so marvelous..I mean the scene of the hill, mountain, sheeps....the nature of the place is INCREDIBLE! When I saw this beautiful nature view, I jz thought of one person....SIR....He love nature view a lot and I am sure he will LOVE this place so much... It is like what I watch in tv and it is incredible...I certainly will go back for walk nx time^^

SECOND, Laying is a Malaysian too and she served us with Britain traditional Xmas meal...TurKey with potato and wine and other foods...Oh god, it is really so delicious...Actually, I am too excited as this is my first ever Xmas dinner and everything is delicious to me! haha....Before we have our meal, we pull the cracker and it is a tradition of Britain ppl...How Lovely it was...ohh...I jz cant express my excitement and happy in words..

Bob and Laying have a dog named Tobby...he is so cute bt I was so scare of dog since I was kid and I dono y(????)...jz scare bt I aso love dog at the same time..ohh, I am such a complicated person..haha...Anyway, the main point is I am not scare Tobby anymore...I can play with him and touch him (not like I jz arrive their house, run away from the dog(=.=)...haha...

After we watch a movie, we have our tea and finally we want to go home and they fetch us back...How nice they are...Besides that, they also welcome us for a stay at their house whenever we want to...ohhh...how lovely they are! The most SHOCK me is Bob kiss my cheek when we say goodbye to him...oh dear...I am really shocked! No one ever kiss my cheek or come near my face after I grown up...I jz scare and this is really a unpredictable thing...

Anyway, I really have a nice day and it is so lovely...Merry Xmas^^

Marvelous nite and happy morning

6 December, 2008, Sunny

Above photo is taken last nite..It is a nite view of Haverfordwest Town...

A town that I live now at Wales...

Last nite, it was so good that I go out to have a look...

When I reach the town part, it is really catching all my attention...

Haha...I love Xmas, so anything about Xmas can catch my attention^^

While we walking, we saw many teenagers around the town...

Their outfit were so so...haha...cool...I like their outfit bt I felt cold for them..

Many girls wear short pants and T-shirt, queue up at the pub to go in...

God, what a cold weather bt they jz wear so little and short...I dono how they stand that...

Anyway, I hv a nice day and nite...yea..it is cool...

This morning, I go to town again and I feel a totally different feeling from last night!

Today, I saw Wales morning market in which got many stalls selling foods and stuff...

Suddenly I got the feeling that I always looking for when I watch movie...

I am at UK...oversea....haha..it is a marvelous feeling...really...

I enjoy the feeling and my life...

Except my nx week presentation...oh god..I haven't do anything yet...

DIE

Terrible feeling

2008, December 1, Sunny

Sunny day but my mood not as sunny....frustrated..sad..low self-esteem...
Today I get back my first assignment marks already!
I get a low mark....
No matter how I told myself that it is better than fail, I still cant stop to feel sad..
I really feel that I am a failure...
I came here so far, and now...I dono wat I can say...
I want to find sir, bt he also can't help me...I want to find fish, bt she also jz can comfort me...
My lecturer told me that I have many grammatical mistake....
I really feel so scare of English now...wat can I do?
I try so hard not to cry in the college and it is really a long day for me...
Today I also feel not so well and this make me more low motivation than other day...
There is no one can help me...I am jz here, alone, myself...with all the problems....
It is scary and helpless than I think...

Yummy Yummy M'sia Food....

November 29, 2008, Sunny

Yummy yummy yummy...oh my god...so delicious!

My dearest sir sent me this photo today...

Together with fish and Carmen in Breeze Cafe, having dinner, sir msn me!

He invited me to go hv dinner with them and he will paid the bill...

Gosh, such a nice and good sir,rite?

I really wana cubit him....noe I miss them so much, noe I miss M'sia food so much...

He still do like that to me...wuhh...heart broken...

Haha....He online at the cafe and I chat with him a while and then with Carmen and lastly..

With Fish and for the longest time....

Well, I also dono y bt I jz have a lot to talk to her and feel free to say everything...

Ohh...I miss the time with them so much and really wana be with them!

And I want eat M'sia food...laksa, nasi lemak, rojak, and my mom cooking food....

Dear dear...miss so much now...

When can I go back to meet them and eat those delicious food???

I jz wonder....

谈恋爱,结婚,生孩子....

2008年11月28日, 晴

今天跟朋友突然聊起爱情观念来..我说不一定谈恋爱,结婚,生孩子才是幸福的。我朋友说这是应该的。他说父母想要看到我们带着一大班孙子回家看他们，他们才开心。我说只要孝顺他们，不一定要有一大班的孙子。我说人来到这世上，必须经历世上的喜怒哀乐。如果永远是喜的，当然开心，当遇到哀的呢？如果能真正领悟到人世上的痛苦，就不会想要有下辈子。能接触到佛法的，就会要修行，不要再有下辈子了。他说如果每个人都这样想，这世上的循环会是怎样？
我们大家都坚持自己的看法，其实，公有公的理，婆有婆的理。谁对谁错？并不然。也许我看爱情看得很悲，不过，我并没有坚定我一定不结婚。因为我知道缘分的事真的很难说。不过，我了解人与人之间的缘分，看的是善缘或是恶缘。生下孩子，你不知道他们是来报恩或是讨债。对佛法有所知识的人都知道，如果你不要再有下辈子，你要去西方极乐世界，也许孩子或是你的伴侣将成为令你去不到的人。如果他们来讨债的，因为他们在你最后一口气时叫了你一声“不要走”，你心一乱，不舍得，就留在人间了。
觉得我是邪想法，邪教？如果你要这样想，我也没办法。哈哈。。只能一笑置之。人生可以很幸福快乐，我从来都不否认。为什么要看悲观的一面？我是很悲观，不过，我相信世上是有幸福快乐的。我也很幸福啊，我有疼我的父母，朋友，尤其是鱼。经过了那么多事情，她依然在我身边当我的朋友。我不是可怜，悲惨，不过，我看到了人生的痛苦。父母为了钱而烦，吵架，男女朋友因为不合吵架，分手，过后陷入痛苦当中。世上不知几时再来个地震，海箫，火山爆发。只要其中一件发生，就有很多人死亡。这就是人类轮回要受的苦。虽然不是其中的受害者，看到的都会觉得伤心。
当朋友离去，你觉得伤心。当爱人跟你分手，你觉得痛不如死。当孩子不孝，你觉得心如刀割。当你看到自己的父母因老而去世，你觉得悲伤。这就是我们人类要受的苦。有些人说你还没谈恋爱就想着分手，哪有这样的人？有，悲观的人咯！害怕受伤，无法治好的人咯！不要说爱人跟我分手，就连我人生当中第一个朋友离开了我，我已经很难接受了，那种痛到今天我还感觉到。当然，我这种想法，我妈妈也不是很赞同。我跟她说我没想要结婚，她就跟我说有孩子的幸福。我跟我朋友这样说，他就跟我说父母想看到孩子结婚生子。也许，这种想法不适合跟人说吧！
刚刚看了一部戏，“自闭”或是“孤立者”。看到评语说这部是恐怖戏，自己看了后觉得愤怒，觉得悲伤。爱让人失去理智。一个女孩因为生气爸爸骗了她，跟刚刚认回的亲妹妹计划报复自己的爸爸和婆婆。结果，婆婆给她们害死了。她们的爸爸年轻时跟她们的妈妈谈恋爱，不过被逼分手，生下了姐姐就被婆婆带走。过后，妈妈再有了妹妹，害怕被婆婆带走，就不出声跟另外一个男人结婚。当那男人知道女儿不是她的，就强奸她和打妈妈。到最后妈妈自杀了，妹妹就变得好像疯婆那样要害所有的人。
最后，妹妹也死了。爸爸活在罪恶当中，疯了似的。看到这部戏，我的愤怒出于对妈妈的行为。如果你有勇气把孩子生下来而不让男家知道，你就不要乱嫁人，到最后，害到的是自己的女儿。现在的社会，男女发生关系很普通。有了孩子，生下来咯，结婚咯，有什么大不了？吵架后，离婚咯，手续多方便，到处都是律师。他们到底有没有想过孩子的感受，对他们有什么影响？人可以不要那么自私吗？因为你们今天那几个钟头的开心和爽，你们将会毁了一个孩子的前途。你们没有想过吗？
对于那女儿，因为生气爸爸骗她，不告诉她他就是他的爸爸，说她的父母去世了，所以就跟妹妹联合计划报复自己的家人。尽管他们是骗了她，不过，他们那么多年来的疼爱，她竟然可以忽视。有些小孩要父母的爱都没有。因为一时的愤怒，就导致那么多的悲剧。看到都觉得愤怒，也觉得悲伤。我知道我现在的情绪不是很正确，愤怒，悲伤。所以，我才说人要因为自己的喜怒哀乐而痛苦。
我不能担保我可以做个完美的人，没有缺点。我缺点多的是呢！数也数不完！不过，我想要说的是人要为自己所做的负责，也要对其他人负责。这地球不是围绕着你一个人转。觉得恋爱甜蜜的就去恋爱，不过，不要在失恋后要生要死的，提不起劲，放不下。如果恋爱那么甜蜜，为什么不能只记得甜蜜的回忆，然后继续积极的生活！你活在这世上不是为了谈恋爱而已。难道世上没有值得你去做的事了吗？也许我没谈过恋爱，不明白恋爱。你可以这样说，不过，除了恋爱，世上还有很多事情等着你呢！

First time Saturday movie at UK

Nov. 22, 2008, Windy

It has been a long time since the last time blogging. Quite missing my blog..haha^^
Finally, I got chance to go to UK cinema to watch movie.
Well, the very honor movie that I watch at UK is "High School Musical 3".
It is expensive watching movie at here if you convert money back to RM...haha...
However, High School Musical 3 din't let me down this time.
Since the High School 2, I felt so disappointed with its production and story!
It is nothing, the songs, the dance and everything is so sucks!
Bt this time it did improve and I love the songs and dancing in High School 3! Good!
Today is so special because inside the cinema, got 80% are kids...gosh...
Some of the kids so excited until dance and horray with the movie...GOD!
My friends say that they seems like watching movie in kindergarden...wakaka...
The cinema room is quite small and nothing so special but it is ok...
My first time watching movie at UK....haiz...bt my friends throw the ticket already...
Well, I have a nice day today and I enjoy it...haha...

My Life First Xmas Tree^^

My first ever Xmas tree...omg..it is realy so exciting and happy to have my own Xmas tree...

Gosh..too excited until I speak a lot and haha..become like a child...

Last nite it is realy so excited when Chin Yit and Izzac and me decorated the Xmas tree together...

From kids,I expect for a Xmas tree and now my dream come true..

Well,life can be torture if we din't do smth happy to cheer up ourselves...

Freezing....missing...

October 28, 2008, Die cold

Well, here I am again, blogging...
Wat can I do in this die cold day? Now it is 5 pm smtg bt outside there like 8 smtg.
Dark, mist and cold..my brain just shut off and I am shivering..
I want to do my assignment badly because the dateline is next week.
However, I am really too cold to do anything...
I am wearing gloves, long sleeves clothes plus sweater, long trousers and socks...
Bt I am still so cold..Am i dreaming now? I really hope so..
So tat I can wake up in the warmth of Malaysia..suddenly I miss M'sia warmth so much!
I am here, alone, in UK...it is like dreaming...
I never thought I can go private college to study, I never thought my dream go oversea to study can become true..everything in my mind just my dream...
But it cames true..ya..it cames true...untill I hard to believe and feel I am dreaming!
Almost everything I wish came true..what did I expect more? I dono...
"The Secret" is a book that told readers we can get what we want if we wish to get it!
It is really a good book..when you want something badly, the nature will bring it to u...
I always think I din't get anything I want..I will loss it if I wish to have..
Bt I never realise that I get almost everything I want...just I am too greedy to expect more..
I want study at college, there I go to Ipoh...
I wish to further study at oversea, here I came to UK...
Mom..she is the one that always help me to realize my dreams..she is really a wonderful mom..
I really miss her..I always wondering why she so believe I can make it and just let me make any decision of my life and let me go for it...
I still remember when I was in secondary school, I hate mom coz she dint believe me and forbid me to go out nite with friends and this and that...
I feel that she din't believe her daughter at all..don't she noe her daughter well?
Bt now, wat can I say? She want to teach me wat is good and bad..
When the time came, she will let me free to do what I want to do and believe me!
I always complain that my mom don't hv respond no matter what happen to me...
Maybe she wants me to take my own responsibility and settle by myself...
She always noe what to do! She is such a great mom! I realy love my mom!
That's why they say when you away from family, you will miss them so much!
Yup,here I am again...missing family like a child...ohh god...
You will never understand the cold if you are not at oversea...now I am totaly get it! huh....

鞋子。。。爱情。。

2008年10月28日, 阴和雨

昨天突然想跟朋友一起出去走走，虽然只是近近的town。。
本来想随便穿的，我也不懂怎么的。
我的外套洗了，所以就找啊找，配啊配，就变成这样出来了。。哈哈。。
不过，我还满喜欢的^^
很遗憾的是这双靴子穿了走长路真的很折磨人，我的脚到今天还很痛呢！
所以，女生真的需要找一双适合自己的鞋。
结果，我也找到一双很舒服的靴子，走起来不会令脚痛。。
前几天，我看了一篇文章说女生一直都在寻找适合自己的鞋子。
年轻时就找华丽漂亮的鞋，即使那双鞋子如何折磨自己的脚，我们还是会忍。。
对，我们真的可以忍。。我一穿来走时就觉得痛了，不过我忍因为那双靴子很好看。。
有时还真的很佩服我们女生的忍耐度，所以不要小看女生。。
为了美，多痛都可以忍！
尽管你多会忍，都有痛到不可忍受的时候，结果，我买了新靴子。
其实，漂亮真的很重要吗？也许吧，对女生来说！
我每次都告诉自己最重要舒服，不过到后来还是爱美而折磨自己！
不过，我是一个忍受不了痛的人。觉得痛到不可忍受时，我就会选择放弃。
回到我刚刚说的文章，它说当女生慢慢成长成熟后，反而对鞋子的要求就变了。
不再要求华丽漂亮，只要求舒服安全。
这鞋的道理用来形容爱情真的满贴切，你们觉得呢？
对啊，女生在年轻时一直追求华丽浪漫的爱情，一个也许充满了危机的爱情。。
我最近看了很多感人的戏。在当中，我学会了一个道理。。
人生当中充满了危险，我们只要活在这世界，每天都要冒险。U hv to take the risk!
爱情是人生其中一部分，也是一个我们要take risk的经验。
朋友告诉我，不管爱情是甜或苦，它也是你的经验，你一定要经历的！
我也知道。。不过，我没有那胆量take tis risk。。太大的冒险了！
也许当爱情来临时，我又是另外一个反应呢？我也不知道！
我只知道现在看到太多例子告诉我爱情是痛苦的，所以我觉得爱情很没有安全感。
我有个朋友的想法也跟我一样，真的很好笑，所以我们可以无所不谈。。
你找到你的鞋子了吗？祝你好运！

My little small baby brother..wakaka

24 October, 2008, Sunny

See the cake above? My baby brother makes it with his frends(i think). I don't know the taste and I don't want to taste too...bt it really look so nice!

Really...My small brother really have the talent in cooking.. Well, I hate to admit that, bt I am so proud with him in this..hehe^^

And his English is so good and his blog also quite interesting, I HATE to admit this...ouchhh!!! He say my blog is such a dude...hoho...

Our style not same! My blog used to express all my feeling and thinking, a diary for me...bt for him, I am not sure! SOmething like, articles??haha

I saw his blog today and unfortunately I saw he wore my piggie shoe and dance and make it a video. I scold him coz I feel heart broken with my piggie bt I felt funny too...

He is so talented in making fun of OTHERS....haha...Even though I scold him, I can't stop myself to ask my friends go to see the video clip coz it is really fun(match with the song).

Wicked person...he wrote tis in his blog..Finally,you also met wicked person. What can I say? God bless you,my dear brother!

There are a lot this kind of bitches in this world, and you cannot hide or avoid from them. They will find you and KILLING you..not everyone can become neutral.

Well,you can say become pH7,then, everything will be okay.

Come on, if your personality is pH7, then you will not wrote about wicked person anymore.

Some people are borned to become pH7, some people nurtured to become pH7.

As my family, I dono..maybe we all borned to be ASID, too obvious for everyone to be SEEN...

wish you good luck^^

For few days, I am struggling between study and wasting time around...and I lose to DEVIL..so there were I, playing game and watching movies for whole day...

Ohhh...I really need to pick up my book and get out from my stupid game and movies! Dude!!!

Shame on myself!

Mom just come back from working today and pity her, still need work at this age! I miss her so much now, miss my house, miss my Pooh Pooh(big and small), miss my pig pig, miss my shoes, miss my clothes, and everything.....haizz....lonely feeling come back again!!!!

Come back to what I am just doing...hoho...I found many pooh pooh in ebay. Gosh, I need a big pooh right now for me to hug during sleeping!

Since kid, I hugging my pillow to sleep, and now I got nothing but just my tiny little Huan Huan and Halloween Pooh(too small to hug even).

It is so hard for me to sleep comfortably....so, I am going to bid a big or middle Pooh back....wakaka...POOH, I LOVE POOOH....

Lonely

23 October, 2008, Rainy

Again, it is a raining day and I am not so appreciate today raining...
It seems I have to skip my French class if it keep on raining.
Well, be honest, today I felt so lazy to go out,no matter where...
I jz want to curl in my cozy bed with my stupid books, laptops and songs...
Duhhh...I really having a boring days lately..no trip,no activities, no handsome guys(hoho)...such a dull life!
Jz now my bro asking me my blogspot URL..haha..when he saw,omg...
Coz all in chinese,he does not know anything about chinese words...
Serve him right,nv study seriously of chinese..
However, I am so shocked when he ask my blog URL...
Well, he never bother about his this big sister..so..haha...a surprise for me...
It is not jz tat surprise for me today,there is some...haha...
Today I chat a long time with Fish,haha...both of us chat for few hours everytime...god bless..if use phone,die...when the bill came...haha...
Suddenly feel miss to stay beside my friends and family when finish chat wit her...
Now I start to understand why a frend of mine tat go US always called us...
It is the lonely feeling...lonely to stay so far from ppl u noe well...
I hate the lonely feeling, actually..I don't like tis feeling come to visit me!
Bt wat to do? It came and control whole part of me...until I become lonely,pity and pathetic girls in UK...gosh...
Maybe I don't have girl frend at here, no one can talk and chat with me jz like Fish...a girl frend...
I don need any bf bt I need friends...friends tat I noe well and they noe me too
Tat's is all I need...
It is quite hard here, everything not same...dono wat should I do and shouldn't
Everyday a lot of reading to do...so many words that I suddenly feel dono...
In the class, I am such a dumb! I scare and nervous when I want to talk..
Gosh, wat happen to me?
I scare I will make ppl feel unhappy or I talk something brainless...
Haha...god,help me here....see me?? save me from tis dull life!!!!!

落叶。。遗憾

2008年10月14日,阴

昨天特地拿了相机，想要到住家附近那里拍照。
前几天跟朋友一起去Tesco时，就看到有棵树很漂亮！整棵树的叶子都变黄了！
整棵满满黄色叶子的树真的很漂亮！从来没看过。。
之前很想到韩国看落叶的美景，现在看到了，不过在英国。
不过，看落叶的美景并没有我想象那么美。。
当时候只有一种感叹。只是那么几天而已，差不多就落完了叶子！
有点后悔当时没有好好地看多几眼。原来那眩间一旦过了，就再也回不到那一刻了。
刚刚又看回之前把跟朋友聊天内容抄下的文件，那种感触再回来了！
有时真的很不想再看回两年前在怡保的回忆，一直勾起不好的回忆。
不过，我也很喜欢跟他们开心的回忆！真的很开心！
前几天，睡觉前就听回手机里的歌。突然就播到了林俊杰的只对你说。。
我现在最不想听到这首歌了！它让我留下人生最大的遗憾和伤感。
结果，当晚就发恶梦，梦到自己被人追杀。真的好真，吓死我了！
哈哈。。就要步入冬天了！天气开始转冷，可是我每天都觉得好冷！哈哈。。
功课也一天比一天多。压力也开始慢慢逼近。。哈哈。。
冬天，我希望下雪。我真的好像看到下雪哦！

再次突来的悲伤

2008年10月6日,阴

突然间很想看回以前的照片，可惜DVD过不到，看不到。。只好上网看。。
一边看就一边回忆起很多很多在APRC的事，尤其是离开我们的美萦。
每次想起你，我就会流泪。我一直重复问自己，你有看过我的最后一封信息吗？
是我的信息导致你车祸吗？如果我有接听你的电话，也许就可以避开这场车祸。。
如果你还在，现在又会做什么呢？真的很多如果如果。。
你离开后，有人说我和婉君是害人精。。
我们两个对你的歉疚反而被人利用来攻击我们。。很好笑吧？
当sir问我是否有对任何说关于我发信息给你的事，然后告诉我哪个八婆说过什么。。
我真的不知道要说什么！
慢慢看回我们一起拍过的照片，我们曾经留下很多快乐的回忆，对吗？
看到亦善，一种悲从中来的感觉。。每次看到你，都觉得很对不起你！
觉得很遗憾！曾经很靠近过，突然就疏远，也导致你讨厌我！
虽然已经过了，应该忘了。不过，每每浮现在回忆戏剧里，都还会觉得伤心。
看到婉君，也觉得很歉意。我曾经做过很多伤害你的事。
不懂我前辈子修了什么福，不管我多恶劣，你还是当我的朋友。。
每次我说对不起，你只是说过去了。。不过，我真的很讨厌当时的我。。
我很讨厌我做过的一切。。对我的好朋友。。我说一千一万个对不起也弥补不到心中的歉意。。
突然又变得悲伤起来了，对吗？很久没看到这样的自己了。。
来到外国后，那种害怕减少了。。
不过，从来到这里到现在我每晚都发恶梦。
我真的很害怕吓醒的感觉，没有任何人在我身边。。
我觉得应该可以说在这里活得满开心的啊。。不过，就不懂为什么每晚都发恶梦。。
现在我还真的有点怕要入睡。。我害怕睡后又要发恶梦了！
每晚吓醒的感觉真的不好受

真的很多感触，也很复杂的感觉。。

终于回到家了。今天很巧地跟妈咪同一天回到家。哈哈
一大早就得起床打包要回家了。那时候真的很不舍得。
看着婉君离开的车子，好想不要走了！
不过，这几天虽然没有做什么特别，没有玩到什么，说真的，我没后悔
如果说那天我决定不特地跑这一趟，我也许就会后悔。
知道你很忙，没空一起出去玩，就连看一场戏也看不成。
不过，能见到你真的很好！因为真的真的很久没见到你了！哈哈
这几天我们几个一直说傻笑话，虽然你真的很多话，一直讲我讲到不停，不过，真的很好笑。（是我心胸开阔）
不能出去玩，这样也可以很开心！真的不可以把我忘记了，知道吗？
那么多朋友当中，只有你是毕业以来都没见到的，也是最大牌的。
哈哈。。。大牌到可以让我特地跑一趟，虽然我刚到家又再去怡保。
是你修来的福，看你还每天欺负我？呵呵。。
不过，今天要搭巴士回家时真的很不舍得你。
真的不知道几时还可以再见到你了。其他朋友，我一定还可以见到你们
今早看到你回我的信息，我差点哭出来了。我们大家都要加油。
我要证明给你看，我不是很弱的女生，我会成功的！
下次等我回来了，你见到我时，我会是一个成功的人。那么，你教我那么多的知识就不会白费了！谢谢你那么久以来的教导和照顾！
你要好好照顾自己。昨晚看到你那么累地趴早桌上睡一下，我真的有点心疼。
我很想说，我们不要喝茶了，回去好好睡吧！
我知道你特地要带我去看戏或什么的，因为我来后都呆在中心没事做。
而这次也特地跑这一趟，所以你不想要我那么无聊。
真的很谢谢你，看到你那么累，我更加心疼，我宁愿不要陪我出来玩。
大家可以这样从新聚在一起吃饭聊天，我已经很开心了。
真的！我只是想在走之前能见完我所有的朋友。见到你我已经很开心了。谢谢^^
sir,你要好好保重，不要累坏了。你永远会是我的好大哥！
有个朋友告诉我要舍得才会成功。当我忍着泪时，我一直重复着这句话
要成功一定要舍得，舍得离开，舍得朋友家人，舍得这里的一切。
我会找到我所需要的，我会找到我的新天空！
除了不舍得和伤心，我今天也有快乐！
妈咪买了一条白金项链给我！哈哈。。真的很以外！
其实我真的是很有福气的女孩，有那么好的家，有那么好的妈咪。
谢谢你，妈咪^^我已经有了21岁的象征链，那就是钥匙链。呵呵
明年的生日我就要一个人在外国度过了，没有家人的红包，没有妈咪煮的红酒面线来帮我庆祝了。
日子越来越靠近了，今天也为出国筹备的事而觉得很烦！
弄到我脾气有点不好，烦死了！
真的很不舍得！我很怕我会大哭，不想走！怎么办？
不想了！想太多我又要哭了！
上面照片的我，好看吧？呵呵。。我弄圈头发看看是否适合。
结果就是不适合，把我弄得老气了！哈哈。。
不过，我还满喜欢的。满可爱嘛！哈哈。。
做人要开心，知道吗，徐薇珊？

我没做过就是没做过！不要诬赖我，你们这些愚蠢的人！！！！

20o8年7月12日

很多事情我真的不明白也不了解
人说这个宇宙很大，什么事情都可以发生
那么我只能说，很多发生的事情我都不明白
为什么一定要这样？为什么一定要选择？
也许不是选择了我这边，所以我觉得沮丧，觉得难过。。。
不过，我很不忿，我很不甘心！
我从来都没有做过什么？为什么要诬赖我？为什么要令到那么多人讨厌我？
对，我承认我这个人不讨人喜欢，我不会做令人开心喜欢的事！
不过，我从来没有害你们，我没有做你们所说的背叛事情！！！
我没有做过！！！没有没有没有！！！！
听到了没？？？我没有做过！
当人被判死刑在一个从来没做过的罪名上，有的只是不甘心！！
我本来不想介意，很想放开，让你们爱怎样就怎样！
不过，有个朋友也选择了他们一边。找她出去玩，她竟搞到偷偷摸摸！
我是见不得光的人吗？我不是！
好，既然要那样，我也不用心软！我再也不会找你出去了！
我悲伤做人要到这样，我悲伤我既然可悲到背上我没做过的罪名！
说多了只让我更加生气！更加愤怒！你们都去王八蛋吧！！！

Frustrating!!!!!

Tired...exhausted..boring....low motivation!
What I am going to do?
I really so worry whether I really can make it!
Everyday need work and study! It is realy so so so tiring!
Frustrating!!!!Arghhhhh......
I need break! I need stop! I want holiday!
AHHHHHHHHH

Busy and tense day

3 June 2008, Wednesday

It had been quite a long time since the last time I write journal....
Dear dear....It had been a very busy days by days until I also do not have the mood to write....
Dear journal, this few days really been a busy and crazy days to me...
My new work place really been a challenge to me because I have to do two person work....
A person work two person work...what do you think?
Hmmm...I also dono! But it seems I did quite lot of mess....
Today I already work more than 10 hours...at afternoon, I almost burst into anger!
Ouchh...it is so busy and and tense day because suddenly all comes at once.
Maybe it is because Badawi announce want to increase fuel price start from tomorrow...
So, everyone thought gas also will increase, so faster buy it...
Then, all orders come at once and it really drive all of us crazy!
Haha...However, I still try to take it as challenge and enjoy my busy day!
I am so sleepy already...I need to go to my cozy bed and get a good sleep^^
Nite nite-.-

Dreaming Pooh

Interesting but Tiring First Working Day

16 May, 2008

Hi, journal^^ Today is a tiring day because I started my work at gas station! It is an unexpected day whereas all my prediction wrong!

At first, I thought I need to work whole day but boss allowed me go back home at 10 am something!

Then, I thought I do not need to work already but suddenly Chiok called and asked me to start work today!

God, everything is so opposite to my thinking!

Today is a fun and interesting day but also a tired day..until I already a little bit blur now...

Maybe my bed time is so near already!

I am so nervous working today because I need to deal with invoice and money...

Actually I so scare to deal with those thing because I am quite a blur person and so scare I cannot handle all this thing!

Well, I already make many mistakes today and the thing I scare is my memory!

I even mistakenly remember whether the person take one or two tong gas out!

Oh God! Please bless me! If not, I will be fired very soon...

I really cannot stand anymore! I so so so tired and sleepy!

God! I wake up at 7am! Since I back to home, I never wake up so early...really torturing!!

Nite nite, journal.... Tomoro will be better day?

I hope so!^^

Dreaming Pooh

Quite upset with gathering..

13 May, 2008 Midnite to 14 May,

Haloo...I just came back from outside, from my frends gathering! Well, this is my today photo.

I am so well and I like this photo quite much. I even use it to do some photoshop revision.. I do something different using photoshop and I quite like the effect!

Back to my friends gathering. Actually it is just a small gathering because just a small part of my classmates...

We really have some times did not meet each others. However, I lost of conversation topic with them..It is pity to feel stranger with them and also even to my best friend.

Actually, it is always me that think she is my best friend, maybe she never feel like that.

Today, when I saw she is more close to another friend that are so stranger to us once ago, I feel a littly bit uneasy...really a little bit..

No matter how, we always go to everywhere together and now appear another person besides her. What can I say? No one in this world will remain for you!

Life still have to go on and so with me! I will never let myself down anymore!

If I never let anyone stay in my heart, then I will never care of their loss...

I think I also have a slight mood disorder, I really have this sickness...

Haizz...what can I do? I need to go on my life and I want to do the best in my life!

Maybe everything that happen will have its cause and I need to accept it!

God bless me!

My sis also want to go sleep already.. It seems I also need to get into my bed too!

Nite and before ending, I want to attach a photo of mine using photohop......

Stop calling me "BABY"!! Hate it so much!!!

12 May, 2008

Boring holiday, boring day... It has been a terrible holiday for me but why still happen such I hate thing?
Is that guy in this world are all the same? Or it is me that have problem?
I realy so fed up with those guys that always call girl "baby" and and and...haiz..all the words in which like we are so close and familiar with each other already!
Dono why but they just give me the feeling of having other intention and not the good people to become friends!
Well, call me nuts or call me anything, but I so hate guys that do not really behave themselves
Maybe I am so outdated or too conservative, but please do not behave like that infront of me!
How can we call people we just know "baby"? We do not know each other! Ouch...I am so so...
I really dono what can I say ! HATE HATE! until I want to vomit!
Do not ever treat me like I am so cheap girl!
Haiz...tomoro I need to wake up earlier...need to fetch my sis to school and also go interview!
God bless me,ok? Please let me have some job while waiting for the time to go study at oversea
If not,I become the burden in the family that do not earn money and do nothing at home...
Now, gotta get back to my book...Nite nite^^


Dreaming Pooh

11 May, 2008

Well, well, today is Mothers Day!
Happy Mothers Day to my mom, grandma and also all mothers in this world...
This year I din't celebrate Mothers Day with mom...coz?
Haiz..coz I am broke...
I do not work and also just graduate.... Now,my pocket money also gave by my mom
Use her money to buy present to her? hehe...quite funny loo...
Hehe...maybe after I work,I will buy something for her or maybe treat her a nice dinner...
After feel lazy for so many days, finaly with reluctant, I start to clean my bookself.
hehe..actualy it is a nice to do too
After I move back with all my baggage and books, I din't realy pack them yet...haiz..
So,thanks God for letting me start to pack up my stuff...
Haha..however, i use whole day to pack up all the books and so sad is there is no enough bookshelf for me to keep all my books...
My my,I like books so much....there are lots of books
All things going fine today except until I saw frend tat left comment for me at my blog...
I almost cry when I saw her comment...my tears almost drop...
Thank you so much to left me a comment,my dear frend...
No matter wat reasons make u hold back or abandon our friendship, I can understand...
Too many rumors about me spread all over...I will not surprise if you also believe...
Even she tat live same room and so close with me also do not believe me anymore,wat can I say?
It is hurt and sad to lost frends...
Maybe no one noe I care bt I realy care for those tat close to me...
When I heard how much you all hate me, it realy broke my heart and I even get nightmare of how u all say u all hate me!
Sometimes we really can't explain everything tat happen because I can't
So sori for everything tat happen...
I will miss u all...wish u all all the best...


Dreaming Pooh

May 10,2008

My new blog...dono y I like to write blog...It can be channel to express my feeling and aso sharing all my news...
It has been some times after my graduate but for goodness, I still don have anything to do at home...
When I jz graduate, I feel so lost because I do not know what can I do...
Sometimes I can't deny that I am stubborn...whenever I decide, I want to stick to my thinking
Mom,so sori to have a daughter like me....hehe
Today, suddenly I read newspaper...suddenly I found tat Malaysia happen so many things
I also heard many things about human dark side....
What happen to our society and people nowadays?
Why there are so many bad things happen?
Haiz...moreover,I aso watch drama series tat hv a gal tat are so good in pretending...
Pretending so naive and innocent...Damn her...I so hate tis kind of gal...
Huh...dono y,today quite a bad mood day for me!
Hope I will have a better day tomoro^^
Nite nite


Dreaming pooh